I think I'll go private

This evening I was looking at my stat counter and looking at the visitors who've been checking out my blog. I was curious when I saw that someone all the way over in Russia had taken a peek! It just got me thinking. We are awfully exposed here in blog land. Though I'm cautious about not giving out our last name or talking about the city we live in (just the state), there are still many pictures of our kids posted for "all the world" to see. So with that in mind, plus the latest episode of "Private Practice" (Violet, who is a psychologist was seeing a patient who is a pedophile), I'm just a little uneasy about it. I think I may make my blog private. Tell me your thoughts on this. Maybe I'm overreacting. But if you would like to be added to the list of people able to view my blog, please comment on this post and I will add you. I'm not sure if/when I will make it private, maybe in the next week or so.

A Little Too Soon?

The boys are off with their Papa and their cousins at a movie this evening. So I decided since it was just me and my girl, we should do something "girly". I just painted my toes this morning and thought, maybe I'd try to paint Emily's!! She's almost 17 months, mind you. I popped us some popcorn (mostly to distract her, but also because it sounded good!) and I gave it a try. I kept telling her that we were going to make her toes pretty! Here are the results:You can't tell (my picture taking skills are quite lacking - either that or I need a new camera!), but they didn't turn out too pretty! It's half on her skin and half on her nail. My mother, the manicurist, would most definitely not approve :-).

So I'm thinkin' Miss Em is just a tad too young for "pretty toes". Every time I'd touch her foot, she'd wiggle it out of my grasp. She must think I'm trying to cut her toe nails - which she HATES! So the only way I could do it was to distract her in the mirror and with popcorn while trying to paint a moving target the size of a flea (She has tiny toenails!). Anyway, I'll try again in a year or so.

For those of you with little girls, how old were your daughters when they would sit still to have their toes painted?

So not a morning person

That would be me. Right now, I just have one of my 3 children in school. Ryan goes to kindergarten and I LOVE that he goes to school at noon. Our mornings are so laid back and relaxed. It's like every morning is a Saturday morning. The kids watch cartoons, I drink coffee and sit in front of the computer, we stay in p.j.s until 11:00. It's great. But Ryan has "flip-flop" days at school. This is when the afternoon kids go to school in the morning and the morning kids get a day off. This helps even out the early release days. So today was a flip-flop day. I rolled out of bed around 7:20, when Ryan came in, then realized, "crap, we have to leave for school in 30 minutes!". So the rush begins. I flip open the shutters in the boys' room and poor Casey rolls over and mumbles something about someone hitting him. He's having a dream about his brother, apparently. Now that the shutters are open, we realize that it's a gray and rainy day. Yay! We don't get those too often here in AZ! But Ryan says, "I don't think it's a good day for school. It's raining!!". I then remind him that just over a year ago, we lived in Washington where it rained more than it didn't and he was most certainly going to school today. I throw some clothes at him, tell Casey to go pee and rush to the kitchen to toss some Eggo waffles into the toaster. I head to my room and throw on some jeans, then go back to see the boys' progress. I hoist Emily into her high chair, get Eggos on a plate for Ryan while Casey tells me he doesn't want Eggos. I get him cereal. As I'm bustling around the kitchen, Ryan asks why I have on a robe with my jeans. Oh yeah, I guess I should finish getting dressed. Forget make-up. The hair goes into a pony tail, a sweatshirt and tennies are added, I'm good to go (I always promised myself that I would never take my kids to school while still wearing p.j.s - BUT, if Ryan's school had a drive-thru drop off/pick up area, I would most definitely break this promise to myself!). Casey and Emily are still wearing their p.j.s but it's time to go. Go! Go! Go! Everyone in the van! I open the garage door and the kids stop, mesmerized by the strangeness of water falling from the sky. "Get in the car! It's just rain!", I shout. Everyone buckled? Whew. Let's go. Oh, first, before I back out of the garage, I have to turn off the A/C and roll up the windows because just yesterday it was warm and sunny. Arizona is so weird. Ryan tells me as we back down the driveway, "Off like a heard of turtles!". That was always my mom's favorite motto. It made me laugh.

So I got Ryan to school just a hair past 8:00. What in the world am I going to do next year when I have to have him at school by 8:00am? Isn't there such a thing as afternoon 1st grade? Sigh...

The “Me Time” Myth

This article was forwarded to me in an email and I was about to forward it on. But instead, I chose to post it on my blog. I'm not sure if I am breaking copyright laws because I have no idea who the actual author of this article is. But I'm posting it anyway because I think what it has to say makes a lot of sense. I am a huge believer in "Me Time". But now, I reconsider my position on it. Please read the following. You may have a new opinion too.


"I once heard a talk show host give a very compelling argument for why moms need time away. He said mothers give and give to the point of empty. They must refuel themselves so they can continue to give.
It sounded quite reasonable to me. Then why did my search for this hallowed “me time” always leave me feeling as though I needed more? While taking time for myself, I definitely felt refreshed, but the moment I got home and realized the sink was still full of dirty dishes and I would still have to give baths to all the children before the night would be over, I wanted to head right back out the door.
This left me feeling sorry for myself. Why couldn’t I have one night where I wouldn’t have to do the same things I do every night? Why couldn’t I come home to a spotless and trouble-free place where dishes were washed and children were in bed? Why did I have to go back to my duties so soon? To punish those who were making my life difficult, I would loudly sling dishes and be curt and hurried with everyone until I could get children into bed and escape to the sewing room or the computer for the remainder of the evening.
The next morning, feeling dissatisfied with the amount of me time from the evening prior, I would take my coffee, sit at the computer, and completely ignore my daily duties. I would get irritated with the children because their antics were cutting into my time. I was stressed and edgy and desperate for more. My children would call out for me and I would answer, “She’s not here right now.”
Then, I began staying up much too late in order to squeeze in more alone time. I dreaded going to bed because it meant waking up to children’s needs and a disaster of a house.
I became increasingly upset by my husband’s time off from work, along with the business lunches and the business trips. To compensate for the perceived unfairness of the situation, I chose to do nothing on weekends: no laundry, no dishes, no parenting. Soon, my weekend were spilling over both ends and into the weekdays. All of this only served to overwhelm me even more and feed into my desire to escape.
In a moment of clarity, as only the Lord can offer, I saw my behavior for what it truly was: selfishness. Along with this epiphany came the conviction to quit seeking Me Time.
Me Time is a myth. It is an unattainable, always interruptible, never satisfying piece of junk psychology. Me Time, by its very name, suggests that who we are during the daily grind is not who we truly are. It begs us to search for fulfillment outside of the titles of “wife” and “mother.” It accuses precious little ones and God-given spouses for suppressing us. It reduces motherhood to a disease in which little dirty faces and endless monotonous tasks slowly suck the life out of us. It says we can never be refreshed by spending time in the presence of those we care for day in and day out. It points out a perceived hole in our world that needs to be filled, a tank that must be refueled, a monster that will swallow us if we neglect to feed it, Me Time.
The more we indulge the thought that we are somehow owed this time away, the more we will seek after it. The more we seek after it, the more every little opportunity afforded to us to take a break will seemingly end too quickly. The everyday life of being a mother will become drudgery. We will dread every aspect of this role. We will snap at our children any time they try to draw us out of our precious time alone. Not getting this time will ruin our day, and if we do manage some time away, we will despise the re-entry.
However, with any lie, there is a certain amount of truth hidden within. There is an emptiness within us that needs to be filled, but only God can fill what you are aching for:
Jeremiah said, “I say to myself, 'the Lord is my portion, therefore will I wait for him.' The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him.” (Lamentations 3:24-25)
Our time away should be spent seeking Him. Anything else we try to fill that emptiness with will fall miserably short. Likewise, the company we seeking during our time away should be spent with people who are about the business of edifying and strengthening us in our role as wife and mother, not tearing at the very foundation of our home. We will never gain anything but resentment from the counsel of those who encourage us to seek self.
We must cease to see the role of wife and mother as a job we put aside at the end of the day. We must do our daily tasks cheerfully, as unto the Lord. We must learn to enjoy being home with our families. We must find contentment in serving others. We should spend more time drinking in the beauty of our children, searching their eyes, holding their hands, being Mom. When we do feel neglected or overworked, we must immediately seek the Lord to refresh us and keep us from sin.

There will be days when we are afforded opportunities to do things alone or with other women, but if we are content in our God-given role, we will no longer cling so tightly to these moments as the only way to save our sanity.
Our need for Me Time will fade as we begin to see motherhood as a blessing not to be escaped, but embraced."

Wow, I can't believe it's already Saturday. This past week has been a complete and total blur to me. Literally. A few of you out there know why. Those who don't know, well, maybe I'll share with you some day...

Today was Ryan's last soccer game. He has been so funny about soccer! This is the first competetive sport he's ever played. He seems to have enjoyed it. He likes going to practice and he likes going to games and he likes wearing his uniform. But his enthusiasm during games is underwhelming. He's the kid out there who's mindlessly swinging his arms around, staring at the sky. He'll follow the clump of kids huddled around the ball, but rarely gets in to give it a good kick. So even though I wasn't feeling completely up to par this morning, I had to go see his last game. They even got cute little trophies!

Here comes Ryan through the tunnel of parents after the game. I think the kids enjoy this more than the game!
Here he is with his coach and his "bobble head" soccer trophy. I've never seen a trophy like that, but it's pretty cool!
The last few games, we've brought Casey's trike and it's given him something to do. He gets a little bored, otherwise.

Ryan says he'd like to try baseball next. So we'll see how that goes...

Spiritual Ramblings

This weekend our pastor concluded a 3 week long series on prayer (if you're interested in hearing the messages, you can listen here. Just scroll down to the bottom of the page to hear the most recent message). I don't know about you but I struggle with my prayer life. Pastor Scott taught us that we tend to have a "me centered" prayer life. But God intends for prayer to be used to build and foster our personal relationship with Him. He referenced a book by Larry Crabb called The Papa Prayer. I haven't picked it up yet, but I think I may. Pastor Scott says it will take your prayer life to a new level. For me, I pray best when I can take the time to sit and journal my thoughts to God. That way I'm writing and not allowing my mind to wander. If I sit and close my eyes to try to pray, I end up thinking about a multitude of things unrelated to my time with God! Anything from, "oh, I've got to put that load of wash in the dryer", to "hmm, what should I wear to the Christmas party?". I really feel God is trying to draw me out of my sometimes stagnant walk with Him, but it seems like there's this invisible force that I try to walk through, but it bounces me backward. Does that make sense? In some ways I've come so far and experienced SO much in the past year and a half and I know that those experiences have pulled me closer to God. But I know that there is so much more that God desires from me. And honestly, I'm kind of scared to take that next step (even if I knew what it was) because what if it's hard? What if He asks me to do something totally outside of my comfort zone? What if He asks me to give up something that I really cling to?

Wow, that was some serious spiritual rambling, huh? Anyway, tell me your thoughts and feelings on prayer. Are you satisfied with your prayer life? Anyone feel like I do?

I Startle Easily

Tripp enjoys this. He's always trying to figure out new ways to startle me. One of his favorite things to do is just honk the horn on the car just before I get in. See, before we had kids, he'd wait for me and open my door for me. Now that we have kids, we tag team and I'm getting one strapped in while he gets the another strapped in. And a lot of the time he's getting everyone strapped in while I'm the last one out of the house. He likes to honk just before I reach for the door handle. Way to teach our boys to respect Mommy, huh? Ryan's in the back seat as I come out of the house saying to Tripp, "honk, Daddy, honk!" Most recently, he honked at me last Saturday night in the church parking lot. I was walking around the front of the minivan and he honked the horn. I screamed then stomped my feet and clapped my hands in frustration! He just finds my reaction so hilarious! I wish I could not react so he wouldn't get so much enjoyment out of it. I get in the car and do my best to be mad, but he's sitting there giggling like a school girl and it gets me laughing too, as much as I fight it! I have more stories of things he's done to scare me. They aren't over the top like you see on Funniest Home Videos - hiding in the pantry and leap out, or scary halloween mask popping up in the window. Rather more simple ways to get me. Like I said, I startle easy so it doesn't take a lot of effort to come up with something to get me. I HATE scary movies. The last one I saw, and most of you are going to say, "that wasn't even a thriller!!", was Signs with Mel Gibson. You know, the one with the aliens? It was out like 5 or 6 years ago. In our old house, you had to walk by a walk-in closet to get to the toilet and I could never walk by it after peeing in the middle of the night without doing a running leap and dive back into bed. As the years went by, it became more of a hop-skip past the closet. Anyway, yeah, I don't do scary movies. I keep thinking that I need to come up with a way to scare him. I'm talking, over the top! And I need to catch it on video so that we can win $100,000 on AFV! If anyone has any ideas for me, email me! Don't put them in the comments, he'll read it there!

Sweet Reminders

I love sweet reminders that remind me that my kids are such a blessing! Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in focusing on their bad habits. Here are my sweet reminders from the past couple of days - to help me not remember that Emily defiantly sat in her high chair for 3 hours because she refused to tell us "all done" (she was in her high chair from breakfast and stayed all the way through to lunch but she finally signed "all done" after lunch). And they also remind me that even though the boys can fight, argue, whine and tattle on each other, they are, as they call each other, "best brothers" **little side note - the other day Casey came inside looking for Ryan. He says, "where's my best bwodder (Casey-ese for the word "brother")?" So sweet!!**
This is Emily saying, "Deeeee" (like "Cheese") when she sees me with the camera! This show of affection between brother and sister is sweet, if not genuine and somewhat forced!I let the boys get in Emily's crib with her and thought it was so cute when they had their feet sticking through the slats.Here are the boys displaying an excellent example of sharing!! They are capable of it sometimes! They each have an earphone and are listening to Tripp's iPod.Tripp is getting some of those tedious things done around the house, at my request, before he begins our master bath remodel (he's so wonderful!). Here he is putting down quarter round to give the flooring a finished look. Emily is helping. It's an open invitation, isn't it? Daddy is laying on the floor so naturally she thinks he wants to play!Okay, just for a minute!

I can't hear you!

Tripp has a pair of ear muff things that he wears when working with noisy tools to protect his hearing. Casey, in particular, loves to play with these.

Tonight I was laughably frustrated with him because I was asking him to do something, but he couldn't hear me with those darn things on! Tripp found this amusing, for some reason. I have a hard enough time getting Casey to follow directions, I certainly don't need the added interference of ear plugs! He brought them in the house and set them on an end table. Later that evening, I was singing the "blankie song" to Emily (I sometimes sing too, Audrey!). Ryan made some wise crack about it (he is so like his dad) so I changed the words to sing the blankie song to Ryan, just to annoy him. He was acting all embarassed and then spied the ear muff things sitting on the table and promptly placed them over his ears so that he couldn't hear me singing!!

I think I'll turn the tables and hold onto these babies so I can slap them on when the kids are whining. See how like it!

Storytime with Casey

Casey told me a story that I liken to a concept created by Jerry Seinfeld. It's a story about nothing. He picked up my Webster's dictionary (notice it is upside down) and began to tell me a "story". It makes no sense, I can't even come up with a storyline. Granted, he is only 3 and a half. I give him an 'A' for effort!


Anyone have any good titles for this story?

Inevitable post of kids my kids in their costumes

You knew it was coming. It took a few days though, because I already posted the pictures on Facebook. So this may be a repeat for a few of you.


Emily was a "love bug" (a little nickname I adopted for her from my mom)

Casey was a dragon - the cutest darn dragon I've ever seen!

Ryan is a very handsome airline pilot.


Unfortunately, Tripp had to work. So I started out the evening by taking the kids trick-or-treating in the neighborhood of the grandma of a friend of mine. There was a HUGE heard of us migrating down the streets of this neighborhood. And it was really warm out this evening. Casey didn't leave his dragon hood on very long and it didn't take long before Ryan as dripping with sweat. Casey complained of being tired and thirsty. I'm pretty sure we won't go trick-or-treating next year. I'd like to go the Harvest Festival route. I think it'd be more fun and definitely safer for the kids and less worrisome for me. No worries of scary costumes to scare my babies and no yucky decorations to expose them to. I know I can't shelter them forever, but I also don't need to give them reasons to have nightmares at their young ages. But I let Emily out of the stroller a couple times just to show off her sweet costume. Here she is trick-or-treating!


After the kids filled their buckets, we made a stop at Nan & Papa's then headed off to visit Tripp at the fire station.

The boys have been to a fire station several dozen times in the past year and a half, yet to them, it never gets old. They are always excited to see the fire truck and get up in it and play.


This next picture of Emily was Tripp holding her up so she was "a bug on a windshield"!

I LOVE this next picture, it makes me laugh every time I look at it!

SPLAT!!